The Infamous Cookie Heist

It had been a long and sleepless night. I lifted up my head and saw the perfection of dawn, giving light to a new day, though it would not stay perfect for very long. Out over the field of battle, where so many had fallen, the horde of evil underworld Cobblers had rallied during the night and were once again marching toward our weakened defenses.

The few of us who had survived their relentless attacks, stood firm on the ramparts, fearless and resolute. Nary a soul among the brave warriors of Snicker Doddle City, including me, didn't know who stole the chocolate chip cookies from the King of the Cobblers cookie jar, though after three days of fighting we realized he was really upset about it. Thankfully, Molly the Baker and Candle Stick Maker was able to replicate their secret chocolate chip cookie recipe. She made several batches of cookies and gave them to the Cobbler army before they attacked again. 

Snicker Doddle City was saved!

 

However, Bob, King of the Cobblers, still wanted Fred, Mayor of Snicker Doddle City, to find the person who stole the cookies. The King declared his army would not leave until the thief was apprehended. After a thorough search, by detective Doris, the cookie thief was found. It was Pete the Dirt Collector.

Pete was immediately turned over to the Cobbler police force. Two days later, a Cobbler court found him guilty and sentenced him to eat five jelly donuts every day for three hundred years while standing in a pot of hot, liquid chocolate.

 

Stealing cookies from the cookie jar is a serious crime.

 

The end.

How to with Imagination

Me trying to be relevant when I’m irrelevant is an eccentric

activity of irrefutable madness. But yet, being a former right

fielder, I endeavor to persevere.

 

I don’t move so freely as I once did, so I use Neptunian logic,

which is much like Plutonian logic and proportionally equal to the

circular drivel of the semantics uttered by the current generation

of right fielders.

 

I stepped in some matter.

Does it really matter if we have matter?

 

Never mind . . . moving on.

 

There are thousands of ‘how to’ books and if everyone did exactly

what the ‘how to’ books said, the world would be a perfect place;

correct? Of course that’s correct. The people who wrote the ‘how

to’ books are now rich and all rich people are smart; correct? Of

course, that’s correct.

 

Can we get a ‘how to’ book on peace and keeping the peace?

 

Personally, I think ‘how to’ books destroy creativity. Following a 

‘how to’ book makes us all the same. I prefer diverse people and

diverse thinking. A ‘how to’ book should be full of blank pages

and each person writes down their own way of doing things.

 

Yes, I know that ‘how to’ books are supposed to help us not make

the same mistakes that those who came before us made, but the

world keeps making the same mistakes despite the ‘how to’

books.

 

So, either most of us are idiots, . . . or a large portion of people

prefer to go their own way and don’t care if they make mistakes.

 

And furthermore, Blah, Blah, Blah, and Yadda, Yadda, Yadda.

 

I write blog posts because I need to dump excess information

and also because, I stare at a monitor and 4 walls for six days,

doing nothing but thinking about stuff. On the seventh day, the

guards turn on the computer and allow me to scribble down my

thoughts.

 

I am currently reading a ‘how to’ book about how to accept

people for who they are, because quite frankly, expecting people

to change is pointless, and I find it easier to simply tolerate their

lack of desire to improve themselves.

 

I have no desire to improve myself, and I hope everyone

tolerates my stupidity.

 

Have a great imaginative day!

-jk-