Thursday, July 5, 2018

Oldness Equals Fiction



There was a time I felt ten feet tall, but now I feel ten feet small.

Back then, I had friends and people knew me. We talked, laughed, and shared our thoughts.

I walked with a pep in my step, a smile on my face, and with no concern for the days ahead.

Time had no meaning. Growing older and money were the least of my worries.

I wanted to see the world and I believed the world wanted to see me.

I hurried from place to place and wasted away the days as if they would never end.

It felt good to be young, unconscious of my surroundings, and negligent of my future.

Regret was a misunderstanding, not something to be dwelt upon.

It was good to be young, or so I thought.

I Danced with Royalty



Time marched forward and as each year passes, I feel smaller.

My friends are fewer now and scarcer amounts know me.

I speak, but my words are not heard.

My pace is slower, I rarely smile, and I worry too much about the days ahead.

Weather and money is all I think about and time presses hard against me.

I have memories of the world, though many of them I have forgotten.

I no longer hurry, and I waste away the days wondering if I had a good life.

It feels horrible to be old, conscious of the inevitable fading future.

I am full of reminiscences, but many of them I regret.


Being Fiction is about Being Fiction



Then again, it’s great to be old, because I have become a walking, talking genius of life.

I can now babble on for hours about the incredible wonders of the world; weave unbelievable tales and imbue them with inconceivable prevarications; and I can make fantastical claims of great achievements, because there is no proof of the things I have accomplished. I have become the master of lies and I shall speak them using imaginative cliches.

Oh, there will be those who shall try to refute my stories, but I will stand firm, using my oldest and wit to counter the Google bully.

The information age is upon us and it searches for the truth in everything. Truth is just a fact, absent of personality and character, unless furnished by an old person!



This Week be a Pleasant Red Elephant or an Anxious Pink Beetle.



Spreading the Love to Canada, India, Iceland, France, Germany, Poland, Portugal, Mexico, and China.


-jk-


Saturday, May 26, 2018

Fictional Astrology


This Weeks Horoscopes 




Aries – Star gaze, make banana cookies, and buy flowers for a friend.

Taurus – Scramble eggs on a mountain, eat naive bread, and avoid blue vegetables.

Gemini – Talk to lonely trees, fondle soft things, and do something creative.

Cancer – Stroll in the park wearing a silly hat, construct chaotic art, and wear red clothes. 

Leo – Persuade people to wear comfortable shoes, eat green candy, and exercise.

Virgo – Make an apple pie, socialize with birds, and take pictures of flowers.

Libra – Play games with friends, seek guidance from a stranger, and buy a houseplant.

Scorpio – Jump in a puddle of water, give chocolate to children, and charm a bartender.

Sagittarius – Wear suspenders, stay up late on Thursdays, and visit an old friend.

Capricorn – Buy new underwear, call a family member, and tell people you love them.

Aquarius – Say smart stuff, act childish, and sing old songs.

Pisces – Overcome a fear, pick up random objects, and impulsively skip.


Stonehenge for Ants 



Spreading the Love to Spain, United Kingdom, Ireland, France, Poland, Israel, Italy, and Japan.


-jk-


Thursday, April 5, 2018

Something for Something - Honesty


I am proof that an old dog can learn new tricks.


It is a difficult thing to admit you have failed. I know a lot about failure, because I have tired many things, and I have failed several times. Failure is a valuable learning experience just as much as success is. On certain occasions, however, I didn’t fail, I simply realized that what I was doing at the time was not the right career choice for me, and so I wisely moved on to something different. My current occupation: writer and teller of stories, although I recently discovered that geologist's make a lot of money and are known for their wild parties. I might have to consider becoming a geologist someday.


Embrace the adventure of life


The quest to find your purpose in life can be a wonderful adventure or a tedious task. You must be prepared to accept what you want might not be your final destiny. Adapt and survive until you find your purpose.


Unread words will forever remain an abstract until readers choose to adopt them.



I applaud the indie writers who have succeeded, and I applaud those who continue onward.



Be a Courageous and Daring Magnificent Purple Cow.



Spreading the Love to Every Person on Planet Earth. 



-jk-


Sunday, April 1, 2018

A Personal Advertisement



 A personal or personal ad is a notice traditionally found in a newspaper, similar to a classified advertisement but personal in nature. The internet has become a common medium for personals. Personals are generally meant for romance, friendship, or casual encounters and contains a basic description of the person posting it, and their interests.


This is my personal ad.


EIA-ISO-AR

Enthusiastic Indie Author in Search of Adventurous Readers

Willing to write for your entertainment. Drinks a lot of coffee. Rarely sleeps. Randomly screams at a monitor. Good listener. Has illogical thought process. Would enjoy a conversation with a real person. Would really enjoy seeing someone reading my book in a coffee shop. Would really, really enjoy getting a royalty check in the mail. (Haven’t gotten one of those yet, but I know I would really, really enjoy it.)


 
And, I live in the Fortress of Imagination.



Choosing a book to read can be an adventure.


You don't want to read just any book, you want to read the right book for you. When you decide to start reading a new book, you probably go through a tiresome search process that feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Eventually, you find a few books that you might like to read, though you’re not sure they’re the right books for you.

If you are like a lot of readers, you try to avoid long boring books. You will be glad to know I, like other indie authors, design our books to be a stimulating experience. Imagine how gratifying it will be when you start meeting the characters in their books, who are sometimes as adventurous and witty as the author, and unlike any others you have ever read.

You've probably heard that long relationships with an author seldom work, but indie authors have a knack for preserving a relationship with readers. Some would even be willing to come on over to your house and have a cup of coffee with you. Indie authors are magnificent chatterboxes. Talking with an actually indie author face-to-face is an experience you won’t soon forget.

One of the biggest challenges for indie authors today is finding an audience. Local book signings and catchy marketing techniques are helpful, but they don’t always work. Countless amazing indie authors work long hours on their books just like famous authors do, but without the aid of professional editors. Please don’t pass on the opportunity to read an indie author’s work just because you don’t recognize their name. We are real people just like you. We have dreams. We have friends – most of them don’t call us anymore, but we still care about them and send them a Christmas card.

When you find the right indie book for you, and you enjoyed it, the best way to let the author know is to write a review. If you didn’t like the book, still write a review, but a constructive one. Trashing an indie authors work is like kicking a dead mule – pointless and cruel.

Take the first step by clicking on the buy button and begin the adventure. There is no obligation buy another book, so you have nothing to lose - except the opportunity to read a book by indie author. It could change what books you choose to read in the future.


If you choose my books, please be kind. I have an unstable personality.



This Week be a Harmonious Blue Penguin or a Calm Reddish-purple Scorpion.



Spreading the Love to Mexico, China, Italy, England, Norway, Chile, Australia, Iceland, Japan, India, and Poland.


-jk-