Fantastical Philosophical Fiction: converting vast amounts of ordinary and phenomenal imagination into conceivable, genuine sagacity, while constantly searching for peculiar originality within the abyss of dreams.
Welcome to earth, it's for Amusement Only.
Mainstream Definition: the ideas, attitudes, or activities that are regarded as normal or
conventional; the dominant trend in opinion, fashion, or the arts.
Normal and Conventional left the
building with Elvis. In today’s ultra-diverse world, Mainstream has mutated into
a large spider web. People get stuck in the web. If you wiggle ever so slightly
in an attempt to join another group in the web . . . the big bad spider comes
and wraps you tighter. Wiggling on the web is bad and you will eventually get
Dominant (important, powerful, or
influential) Opinions are being spewed out every 5 minutes. The
talking heads love opinions. Right fielders love opinions. And we all know that
opinions are like . . .
I have opinions, but I am afraid to
express them in the ultra-diverse world.
In the Fortress of Imagination,
hermetically stored in a super-secret vault, there are thousands of stories I
wrote; none of them will ever be published. I like to reread them when I am
Unrealistic vs. Fiction – Good, Bad, or
How to Speak Body Language
A Day in the Life of a Forgotten Friday Night
The Art of Staying Irrelevant
Baby Names – Optimistic Child Labeling?
Reality, a Three Part Fictional
A Glimpse into the Future; Frozen
Eggs and My Memory
If you Tweet it, someone will dislike
TV Binge Watching is an Overindulging
The Truth about Right Fielders and
Hyphen; the New-Semi-Colon
Prickly Serendipity Syndrome; will there ever be a Cure?
Body-Shaming Mirrors for Models
Perfection is Flawed Nonsense
Overcompensating for Circular
Where to Buy the Right Pesticide for
A Sanctuary City is Bamboozling
Hollywood; The Lost City of Good Intentions
Hollywood; If they watch it, we’ll
make 20 more just like it.
It’s going to be another great week at the Fortress of Imagination. Stories to reread. Books to read. Rum to
drink. Pizza to eat. Dreams to dream.
This Week be a Blissful Naive Boar
or a Comfortable Burgundy Viper.
Spreading the Love to United Arab
Emirates, Ukraine, Syria, Brazil, France, Honduras, Spain, Portugal, Canada, Indonesia, and Poland.
Fiction Writers and Theoretical Physicist employ similar
techniques to persuade people into believing their fantastical tales and
What exactly is a theory?
Theory: an ideal or hypothetical set of facts,
principles, or circumstances - a hypothesis assumed for the sake of argument or
investigation - an unproved assumption.
At Joe’s Bar and Grill, we call that drunk Bullshit.
That is true.
Fiction Writers: People who use words and their imagination
to fabricate fantastic nonsense.
Theoretical Physicist: People who
use math and their imagination to fabricate theoretical nonsense.
The Big Bang Theory sounds plausible, but two important
elements are missing; what was going on before the Big Bang and why did the Big
Bang, Bang? It had nothing better to do?
Being a writer of fiction, I, of course, have a theory
about what was going on before the Big Bang and why it Banged. I also have a perfectly
believable explanation for Black Holes.
Before I present my theory, I must confess something. Trying
to comprehend what was going on before the Big Bang is the same as trying to
imagine what being dead feels like. Therefore, I utilize geometrical
imagination and specialized creativeness to rationalize my theory.
My Theory: Using the formula – Rum + Coke = i2Rsmart,
I discovered many super dimensional layers, which were inhabited by angels. The discovery allowed me to deduce that our universe was created by flatulence - an angel
farted. Angel + Pizza + Beer = Flatulence Squared, A+P+B=F2.
Black holes (space tornadoes or dimensional sanitation system,
DSS), were immediately deployed to clean up the contamination and to prevent the
volatile gas from corrupting other super dimensional layers. Black Holes are designed to redistribute angel butt gas and discharged particles.
Our universe may be 14+ billion years old, but there
are many more universes in other dimensional layers that could be older or
younger than ours. Angels fart a lot, and it is downright conceivable that they
have tainted several dimensional layers.
Believable or Absolutely Preposterous?
Or, you can choose to believe the Physicists. In the beginning there
was nothing, then there was an atom, it exploded (Big Bang), and presto, the
known universe was created.
Or, you can believe God created everything.
A definitive answer about how the universe was created
is perhaps theoretically attainable, but the miracle cherry on top
of the cosmology desert is what or who made it happen and why.
This Month, be a Happy Green Rabbit or a Contented Scarlet
Spreading the Love to Germany, Italy, Syria, Brazil,
France, Ireland, India, United Kingdom, South Africa, Poland, and Japan.
The best part about being an indie author is the unrestricted word sexy control you have. You can end a sentence with a preposition or go crazy with adjectives and adverbs. I think of words as if they were Lego's and I can build whatever I want.
When a tree falls, does it make a
sound even if no one is there to hear it?
This is how I would answer:
The tree suddenly began plummeting to
the frozen ground below. Its branches, large and small, pummeled an adjacent
tree, cracking off many as it fell. The shattered fragments swarmed chaotically. Squirrels
scurried from their winter nests. Frightened birds took to the air. When the mighty
tree ultimately slammed onto the forest floor with a titanic thud, the ground
trembled, bark split, dirt swirled, and ice crystals darted into the cold air
like a well-planned fireworks display.A thunderous echo of
the natural event lanced through the tranquil timberland's in every direction, which
eventually reached a young boy and his father, who were fishing that morning at
the river. The wise father turned and looked at his son and said, “Trees do
make a sound when they fall, even if no one is there to hear them.”
The boy, who was busy sending a text
message to his friend, replied, “Huh?”
Indie authors generally write what they are passionate
about instead of trying to write about a genre that is currently popular. Their
passion is undeniably evident by how word sexy they are in the telling of their
Verbiage:a profusion of words usually of little or obscure content.Speech or writing that contains too many words or that uses words that
are more difficult than necessary. (BAH!) – I call that being word sexy. Go big
or go home!
Finding the right combinations of
words to accurately translate the swirling of ideas inside your brain is not easy. So,
what’s wrong with getting a tad bit word sexy?
What is my definition of word sexy?
Word sexy: a phantasmagorical expedition
to concisely find sets of words that have never met, but make them sound like
they were always meant to be together. They fall in love, have kids, get divorced, and buy a beach house Finland.
Examples: Ranch Dip with Bacon
Flavored, Cheese Stuffed Pizza Pretzels. Write Drunk while Drinking Rum. Edit Sober while You Think aboutEating Bacon Flavored, Cheese Stuffed Pizza Pretzels. Pizza
Insurance for the Super Bacon Pizza you dropped because you just had to have another glass
If you are the type of person who enjoys
a story from the heart, I suggest selecting an indie book to read. They are
truly a word sexy experience to behold.
Be an Orange Turtle this Month or a Jade Lama.
Spreading the Love to the all the Olympic Athletes. Go for the Gold! Please support indie authors.
I spent the last 5 years talking to a
wall and the wall never responded, thus proving that walls can’t talk. I am
fully aware that perhaps the wall might not have wanted to talk to me, but I
found no evidence to substantiate that possibility.
Happy New Year Wall. I will miss
speaking to you this year, but don’t worry, I’ll hang a few pictures on you to
keep you company.
Nope, not going out today!
I am now finally free to pursue another
futile exercise of complete and utter senselessness; talking to trees. It is a
project I have been looking forward to for a long time. Unfortunately, the
weather outside is a horribly cold, but that will not stop me. I have a plan. I
will attach a cell phone to a tree . . . no wait, that won’t work. Trees don’t
know how to operate a cell phone.
Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Perhaps, it might be better to wait
until the weather is warmer.
In the meantime, I suppose I could do
something appallingly pathetic and enormously inconsequential . . . use my
keyboard to make letters, numbers, and pictures magically appear on the
computer monitor. Sounds boring, but there ain’t nothing else to do.
Logical solution for peace on earth: Dissolve
all the world governments and everybody in the world has to move another
country. China to Africa – Africa to Russia – Russia to South America – South America
to India – India to Australia – Australia to China – Italy to England – England
to Japan – Japan to Italy – France to Mexico – Mexico to Saudi Arabia – Saudi Arabia
to France – Poland to Madagascar – Spain to Canada – Iran to Poland – Switzerland
to Cuba - United States to Greenland – Greenland to Greece, etc. etc.
This is doable. You just have to
think outside the box to solve big problems.
I don't think taking a green pill with a blue pill is working. Maybe a red pill with a glass of rum might help. List of things I need to do this week: Ask someone if I'm crazy, sleep, and talk to my coffee cup.
Be a Yellow Mellow Lion and Stare at
Spreading the Love to Iceland, Italy,
Iran, Mexico, Cuba, Ireland, Poland, Spain, and Turkey.