Thursday, April 5, 2018

Something for Something - Honesty


I am proof that an old dog can learn new tricks.


It is a difficult thing to admit you have failed. I know a lot about failure, because I have tired many things, and I have failed several times. Failure is a valuable learning experience just as much as success is. On certain occasions, however, I didn’t fail, I simply realized that what I was doing at the time was not the right career choice for me, and so I wisely moved on to something different. My current occupation: writer and teller of stories, although I recently discovered that geologist's make a lot of money and are known for their wild parties. I might have to consider becoming a geologist someday.


Embrace the adventure of life


The quest to find your purpose in life can be a wonderful adventure or a tedious task. You must be prepared to accept what you want might not be your final destiny. Adapt and survive until you find your purpose.


Unread words will forever remain an abstract until readers choose to adopt them.



I applaud the indie writers who have succeeded, and I applaud those who continue onward.



Be a Courageous and Daring Magnificent Purple Cow.



Spreading the Love to Every Person on Planet Earth. 



-jk-


Sunday, April 1, 2018

A Personal Advertisement



 A personal or personal ad is a notice traditionally found in a newspaper, similar to a classified advertisement but personal in nature. The internet has become a common medium for personals. Personals are generally meant for romance, friendship, or casual encounters and contains a basic description of the person posting it, and their interests.


This is my personal ad.


EIA-ISO-AR

Enthusiastic Indie Author in Search of Adventurous Readers

Willing to write for your entertainment. Drinks a lot of coffee. Rarely sleeps. Randomly screams at a monitor. Good listener. Has illogical thought process. Would enjoy a conversation with a real person. Would really enjoy seeing someone reading my book in a coffee shop. Would really, really enjoy getting a royalty check in the mail. (Haven’t gotten one of those yet, but I know I would really, really enjoy it.)


 
And, I live in the Fortress of Imagination.



Choosing a book to read can be an adventure.


You don't want to read just any book, you want to read the right book for you. When you decide to start reading a new book, you probably go through a tiresome search process that feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Eventually, you find a few books that you might like to read, though you’re not sure they’re the right books for you.

If you are like a lot of readers, you try to avoid long boring books. You will be glad to know I, like other indie authors, design our books to be a stimulating experience. Imagine how gratifying it will be when you start meeting the characters in their books, who are sometimes as adventurous and witty as the author, and unlike any others you have ever read.

You've probably heard that long relationships with an author seldom work, but indie authors have a knack for preserving a relationship with readers. Some would even be willing to come on over to your house and have a cup of coffee with you. Indie authors are magnificent chatterboxes. Talking with an actually indie author face-to-face is an experience you won’t soon forget.

One of the biggest challenges for indie authors today is finding an audience. Local book signings and catchy marketing techniques are helpful, but they don’t always work. Countless amazing indie authors work long hours on their books just like famous authors do, but without the aid of professional editors. Please don’t pass on the opportunity to read an indie author’s work just because you don’t recognize their name. We are real people just like you. We have dreams. We have friends – most of them don’t call us anymore, but we still care about them and send them a Christmas card.

When you find the right indie book for you, and you enjoyed it, the best way to let the author know is to write a review. If you didn’t like the book, still write a review, but a constructive one. Trashing an indie authors work is like kicking a dead mule – pointless and cruel.

Take the first step by clicking on the buy button and begin the adventure. There is no obligation buy another book, so you have nothing to lose - except the opportunity to read a book by indie author. It could change what books you choose to read in the future.


If you choose my books, please be kind. I have an unstable personality.



This Week be a Harmonious Blue Penguin or a Calm Reddish-purple Scorpion.



Spreading the Love to Mexico, China, Italy, England, Norway, Chile, Australia, Iceland, Japan, India, and Poland.


-jk-





Friday, March 9, 2018

Mud Soup Monday



Mud Soup is me thinking out loud.


Words are my passion.

Groups of words are a word orgy.
Novels are an enormous word orgy.
Evidently, I'm passionate about enormous orgies.


Of Course I did


Mainstream Definition: the ideas, attitudes, or activities that are regarded as normal or conventional; the dominant trend in opinion, fashion, or the arts.

Normal and Conventional left the building with Elvis. In today’s ultra-diverse world, Mainstream has mutated into a large spider web. People get stuck in the web. If you wiggle ever so slightly in an attempt to join another group in the web . . . the big bad spider comes and wraps you tighter. Wiggling on the web is bad and you will eventually get eaten.  

Dominant (important, powerful, or influential) Opinions are being spewed out every 5 minutes. The talking heads love opinions. Right fielders love opinions. And we all know that opinions are like . . .  

I have opinions, but I am afraid to express them in the ultra-diverse world.


In the Fortress of Imagination, hermetically stored in a super-secret vault, there are thousands of stories I wrote; none of them will ever be published. I like to reread them when I am bored.

Unrealistic vs. Fiction – Good, Bad, or Controversial

How to Speak Body Language

A Day in the Life of a Forgotten Friday Night

The Art of Staying Irrelevant

Baby Names – Optimistic Child Labeling?  

Reality, a Three Part Fictional Fairy-tale  

A Glimpse into the Future; Frozen Eggs and My Memory

If you Tweet it, someone will dislike it

TV Binge Watching is an Overindulging Activity  

The Truth about Right Fielders and their Moms

Hyphen; the New-Semi-Colon 

Prickly Serendipity Syndrome; will there ever be a Cure?

Body-Shaming Mirrors for Models

Perfection is Flawed Nonsense

Overcompensating for Circular Roundness

Where to Buy the Right Pesticide for Twitter Trolls

A Sanctuary City is Bamboozling

Hollywood; The Lost City of Good Intentions Gone Bad

Hollywood; If they watch it, we’ll make 20 more just like it.


It’s going to be another great week at the Fortress of Imagination. Stories to reread. Books to read. Rum to drink. Pizza to eat. Dreams to dream.



This Week be a Blissful Naive Boar or a Comfortable Burgundy Viper.



Spreading the Love to United Arab Emirates, Ukraine, Syria, Brazil, France, Honduras, Spain, Portugal, Canada, Indonesia, and Poland.



-jk-

Saturday, March 3, 2018

In Search of Common Ground



Fiction Writers and Theoretical Physicist employ similar techniques to persuade people into believing their fantastical tales and theories.

What exactly is a theory?

Theory: an ideal or hypothetical set of facts, principles, or circumstances - a hypothesis assumed for the sake of argument or investigation - an unproved assumption.

At Joe’s Bar and Grill, we call that drunk Bullshit.


That is true.


Fiction Writers: People who use words and their imagination to fabricate fantastic nonsense.

Theoretical Physicist: People who use math and their imagination to fabricate theoretical nonsense.

The Big Bang Theory sounds plausible, but two important elements are missing; what was going on before the Big Bang and why did the Big Bang, Bang? It had nothing better to do?

Being a writer of fiction, I, of course, have a theory about what was going on before the Big Bang and why it Banged. I also have a perfectly believable explanation for Black Holes.

Before I present my theory, I must confess something. Trying to comprehend what was going on before the Big Bang is the same as trying to imagine what being dead feels like. Therefore, I utilize geometrical imagination and specialized creativeness to rationalize my theory.  

My Theory: Using the formula – Rum + Coke = i2Rsmart, I discovered many super dimensional layers, which were inhabited by angels. The discovery allowed me to deduce that our universe was created by flatulence - an angel farted. Angel + Pizza + Beer = Flatulence Squared, A+P+B=F2.

Black holes (space tornadoes or dimensional sanitation system, DSS), were immediately deployed to clean up the contamination and to prevent the volatile gas from corrupting other super dimensional layers. Black Holes are designed to redistribute angel butt gas and discharged particles. 

Our universe may be 14+ billion years old, but there are many more universes in other dimensional layers that could be older or younger than ours. Angels fart a lot, and it is downright conceivable that they have tainted several dimensional layers.

Believable or Absolutely Preposterous?

Or, you can choose to believe the Physicists. In the beginning there was nothing, then there was an atom, it exploded (Big Bang), and presto, the known universe was created.

Or, you can believe God created everything.


A definitive answer about how the universe was created is perhaps theoretically attainable, but the miracle cherry on top of the cosmology desert is what or who made it happen and why.




This Month, be a Happy Green Rabbit or a Contented Scarlet Eagle.



Spreading the Love to Germany, Italy, Syria, Brazil, France, Ireland, India, United Kingdom, South Africa, Poland, and Japan.



-jk-