Old, Fun Words

I like big, old words and I can not lie

You other words can't deny

Churl: "trailer trash" calling someone a "churl" was a major insult. And given that it means peasant, we can see why.

Knave: a liar, cheat, or con artist, Originally the word would have been used to refer to a peasant or servant in medieval times.

Cozen: The verb "cozen" was reserved for only the sneakiest of scoundrels during the Renaissance. someone would claim to be a part of the family and then con the target out of their money.

Scumber: pure filth.

'Sblood: It's short for "God's blood," and it packs a powerful punch in the Bard's work.

Bloody Nora: "flaming horror" to show their complete and utter disbelief about something.

Bedlamite: meant you thought they were a total fruitloop.

Gadzooks: Feeling angry or surprised? "Gadzooks" is the exclamation you need. The expletive is a shortened version of "God's hooks," or the nails that were pounded into the cross.

Thunderation: irritation without taking the Lord's name in vain.

Cacafuego: A Spanish word that basically translates to "s**tfire," "cacafuego" was also the name of pirate Sir Francis Drake's ship. And despite the literal meaning of the term, it was originally used to refer to someone bragging too much about their accomplishments.

Smellfungus: If you've ever traveled with someone who wouldn't quit complaining, then you were probably in the company of a "smellfungus."

Whelp: This Renaissance-era term could be used for both naughty dogs and human children. How versatile! It's meant to insult the misbehavers by comparing them to fragile little puppies.

Consarn it: to show their displeasure about anything and everything.

Caterwauling: muddling, blundering

Pander/Bawd: Elizabethan pimps were called panders (if they were male) and bawds (if they were women). infamous pickpocket to boot. Moll Cutpurse

Sard: The holy book contains the phrase, "Don't sard another man's wife." Got it? That's right, "sard" is an old version of the f-word.

Jobbernowl: an insult that translates to “stupid head” or “numbskull.”

Rakefire: vent some frustration.

Wordsmith - Q T Daddles

Scald: Ever heard of scurvy? Well, "scald" is just another word for the disease that afflicted those who spent prolonged lengths on open water and didn't get enough Vitamin C. Victims of the scald would have loose teeth, terrible skin, and a whole host of other awful complications.

Arfarfan’arf: a drunk! tipples.

Morbs: some momentary melancholy.

Chuckaboo: closest friends, or, in our terms, their BFFs.

Butter upon bacon: luxuries

Whooperups: inferior, noisy singers.

Collie shangles: quarrel or fight with someone.

Daddles: nice hands

Blatherskite: blabs far too much and talk a lot of nonsense to boot.

Mouldy grub: traveling showmen, con artists and grifters

Highfalutin: someone who was just a bit too fancy for their own good.

Catawampus: particularly ornery mood or disordered.

Skedaddle: ran away with all speed.

Have a Happy Writing Weekend

-jk-

Truth about Awards?

My quest to understand ‘Awards.’

 

Awards are frequently given to people for just about anything and everything. I recommend investing in a trophy shop, because the award business, like a mortician, is guaranteed job security.

Let’s slow walk through the process to make sure we don’t miss a step.

Using my 1945 Encarta Dictionary, I began with the word award and then picked out a particular word within the definition and then check that word’s definition. Sometimes this is necessary to reveal the true rationale of how something came into being

 

Recognition!

Award - something such as a prize that is given in recognition of somebody's merit or an achievement.

Achievement - something that somebody has succeeded in doing, usually with effort.

Effort - mental or physical energy that is exerted in order to achieve a purpose.

Purpose - the reason for which something exists or for which it has been done or made.

Reason - an explanation or justification for something.

Justification – a circumstance that justifies an action or attitude.

Attitude - an opinion or general feeling about something.

Opinion - a view regarding the worth of somebody or something.

 

EUREKA! I figured it out! Awards are opinions!

But if that’s the case, why are people so excited to get an award? And it’s common to hear people state how they don’t care about what other people think about them. But they accept the award, and tell the world how happy they are to receive the award, and post it all over social media sites.

The Truth

It's mostly about recognition. Some folks won’t readily admit it, but deep down inside, they feel good when someone, anyone, recognizes them for something they did that required a huge amount of effort.

A simple pat on the back can be just as important as any award, especially if it comes from a person with experience and who understands the journey.

 

“Mr. Kafka, have you ever won any awards?”

 “Yes, I have.”

 “For what?”

 “Stuff.”

 “Stuff? What does that even mean?”

 “jimmy, this conversation is making me uncomfortable.”

 “I’m certain it is.”

 “Can we go to lunch, now, please.”

 “Okay, Mr. Kafka, but afterwards, can I see the awards?”

 “No. I threw them all away.”

 “How convenient.”

 

-jk-

Getting to Know Us.

 

jimmy and Mr. Kafka

 

jimmy, (James Lee) was my father’s, sister’s child. jimmy was born, July 14, 1954. He died, July 22, 1954. When I was born 3 years later, my aunt gave her blessing to my parents to name me, James Lee.

                               jimmy rockin' & rollin' with Lynyrd Skynyrd

I became aware of my special name years later, when I was about 12 years old. I was with my parents when they went to the cemetery to look after their parents’ grave sites. I must say, it was odd, eerie, and peculiar experience to see my name, his name on a tombstone. It was then that they told me about him.

Fast Forward

I don’t recall the exact date/ time when I had the ‘what the heck am I doing with my life moment,’ but when I did, I decided I needed to live not only for myself, but also for jimmy. He deserved the experience of life. So, together always, he lives through me – jimmy's second chance.     

I use the name, jimmy, because I prefer to think of him as my whimsical and spirited cousin who looks after me, and my Guardian Angel. (Yes, I talk to him a lot. I am not crazy, I’m old and extremely strange.)

Fast Forward – again

Before I jumped into the deep end of writing a novel, I practiced writing dialogue – mostly how I perceived a conversation with jimmy would go if he was here. After hundreds of written out conversations, I finally felt comfortable with the personality I had manufactured for jimmy, which instilled my confidence to create a persona and individuality for characters in a novel.

Fast Forward – one more time

Here’s a typical conversation between jimmy and I.

“Whatcha doing, Mister Kafka?”

“Hey, jimmy. I just finished scribbling down some informative and provocative stuff about us.”

“Why? No one will read it.”

“They might.”

“No, no they won’t”

“Yes they . . .”

“Nope!”

“But . . .”

“Trust me, Mister Kafka. They’ll read the first sentence then move on to the silly, animal video that their friend posted or some family vacation pictures.”

“Whatever. Want to go to lunch, jimmy?”

“Sure. I’m in the mood for a double cheese burger and some fries.”

“jimmy, you do realize eating that stuff is not good for you.”

“I don’t think it matters, Mr. Kafka.”

“Good point. I’ll have my usual, coffee and a cigarette.”

“Mr. Kafka, you do realize . . .”

“I know, jimmy. I know.”

“Can I drive this time, Mr. Kafka.”

“Stop talking and just get in the car.”

 

 

For jimmy – my best friend. 

 

j/k

 

A Belly Laugh

Laughter is the best medicine.

 

 

I dress for success.

                              

“Hey, Mr. Kafka.”

“What’s up, jimmy?”

“I don’t think people are laughing as much as they used to.”

“Why do you say that, jimmy?”

“Yesterday, I told a very funny story about a cow, but only half of the people laughed. The other half thought the story was offensive to cows.”

“Ah, I see where you’re going with this. Take a seat. I have a story to tell you that might help you understand.”

“Mr. Kafka, I’ve heard plenty of your stories, and I’ve never understood any of them.”

“Trust me, this one you’ll understand.”

“That’s what you always say, Mr. Kafka.”

“Hush up. Okay. When I was in the fourth grade, there was a bully that regularly picked on me. Well, one day I had enough of his antics and decided to trick him. It happened on the playground, during recess. He approached me like he always did, laughing and calling me vile names.”

“What names, Mr. Kafka?”

“Not important. He was much bigger than me, and that day he punched me in the arm so hard, I fell to the ground. But I didn’t cry. I looked at my arm – the punch made a big, nasty-looking bruise. Then, I started to laugh.”

“Laugh? Why did you laugh, Mr. Kafka?”

“jimmy, Stop asking questions and let me finish. The bully was baffled by my laughter and asked why I was laughing. I told him I was laughing because he was going to go to jail for murder. With a confused look upon his faced, he asked why. I told him I had a rare blood disorder and the bruise on my arm would cause a blood-clot, and that I would probably die very soon.”

“Well played, Mr. Kafka.”

“Thanks. So, I started acting like I was fading from this world, dramatically of course.”

“Of course, you did.”

“It worked, too. He started to cry, and screaming that he didn’t want to go to jail. All the other children started laughing at him. He fell to his knee’s and begged me not to die. I quickly stood up and kicked him squarely in the jaw. Knocked him out, too. The End.”

“That’s it? End of the story? I don’t understand the point you were trying make, like always.”

“I told you, jimmy, laughter is the best medicine.”

“Huh?”

“The medicine finally kicked in. Pun intended.”

“Congratulations, Mr. Kafka, you got me again with one of your stupid stories.”

“It’s not stupid. The moral of the story is; if you chose not to laugh when something is obviously funny, expect to get kicked in the jaw.”

“Mr. Kafka, I don’t know why I hang out with you.”

“I think you have to.”

“Yeah, well, I reckon you’re right about that one.”

 

Enjoy each day with laughter and you’ll never have a bad day.

 

-jk-