Hello, word scribblers and fellow epistemophilia people.
Are you tired of perpendicular nouns,
horizontal verbs, precipitous adjectives, unsentimental adverbs, and
law-abiding punctuation marks? I know I am.
Fear not, just yesterday, at the University of
Fictitious Interpretation and Mystification, the Society for Enhanced Oxymoron
Vocabulary and Pretend Jargon announced they have successfully figured out a literary
therapy that will revolutionize how writers write; called, Advanced Palimpsest
Osmosis.
What is Advanced Palimpsest Osmosis literary
therapy?
It is a five-step psychotherapy process that
may or may not work for you.
Step one: Stop stressing over old, established
methods.
Step two: Write however you want.
Step three: Punctuate as you see fit.
Step four: Make up new words.
Step five: Convince other ultracrepidarians
that what you’re doing is legitimate.
Possible side effects are: writing several pages
of unreadable material, repetitious adverb use, forgetfulness, invariable back
aches, wandering in the park, screaming at flowers, starring at a wall for no
reason, (Is there ever a reason to stare at a wall?) watching ice melt, (There are
at least two or three good reasons to watch ice melt.) increased pizza eating,
begging for sympathy on Twitter, and prank-calling famous authors.
Advanced Palimpsest Osmosis is not for
everyone and you should consult with someone, anyone, doesn’t really matter who
it is, before attempting the five-step psychotherapy process.
Strive to be different, unique, or dissimilar
on a daily basis and hopefully something odd or ordinary will happen.
Try Advanced Palimpsest Osmosis today and gyrate
your writing career. It’s not just therapy, it’s an adventure!
Disclaimer: a statement that denies something,
especially responsibility.
This Week be a Splendid Blonde Pigeon or a Passionate
Lavender Rabbit.
Spreading the Love to Ireland, Sweden, Japan, Italy,
Israel, Belgium, Canada, Poland, South Africa, and Spain.
j/k
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