More Drama in the Ice Age

 

Legal Chicanery for the Clans

 

The untimely death of the well-known, wealthy playboy caveman, Gugal, (31) was not a shock to those who knew him. The descendants of Gugal will be seeking a legal decision by the high court of Shamans for his possessions. Gugal left behind seven ex-wives, sixteen children, twenty-two step-children and his current wife, Babs, a popular cavegirl stripper at the ‘One ‘n’ Done’ Grog Hall.

Gugal’s extraordinary cave-château in T-Rex Valley is truly magnificent and has been the pinnacle of innovative multiplicity, hosting a cornucopia of ritualistic shindigs, and it also provided shelter for his huge clan over the past 9 years.

The Gugal estate has an abundance of valuable assets: 2 obsidian tipped spears, 3 stone axes, 53 furs from numerous different animals, and fire pit. Gugal will be buried outside the cave next to his parents, his seventeen siblings, and five children. Most recently — his son, Gugal Jr., died last year; he was 16.

 

Babs Wants Justice!!

Babs has stated openly her intentions to claim her husband’s estate in court when the Shamans assemble. Babs was quoted in the Brontosaurus Gazette, “The idea of Gugal’s cave belonging to any other family member is unthinkable. And, just last week, I was forced to defend a menacing attempt by one of his ex-wives to purloin several furs.”

In related news, the Stag Clan has filed a motion to also claim Gugal’s cave, stating that they once owned the cave, and only temporarily rented the cave to Gugal when the Stag Clan went on their annual hunting trip 9 years ago. According to the Stag Clan leader, Dalug, he said Gugal’s clan refused to move out when they returned, and they couldn't force Gugal's to leave, because the Stag Clan lost to many warriors during the hunting trip.  

The Shamans Court of Amalgamated Cave-People Human Rights will assemble on the day after the Summer Solstice Social to rule on the disposition of the estate.

Breaking News: A Large Cave Bear has been seen in the area.

-jk-

Ice Age Drama

Winds of Change in the Ice Age

 

An international court of Shamans ruled that the Arctic High Mammoth warrior’s failure to adequately tackle the Dinosaur crisis is in violation of Amalgamated Cave-People human rights. The landmark Dinosaur judgment could have a ripple effect across the globe.

Shamans taking a selfie after their ruling

 

The Shamans Court of Amalgamated Cave-People Human Rights, in a cave somewhere near the Dead Summit Mountains, delivered its ruling against the Arctic High Mammoth warriors, in a case brought by more than 2,000 Flowers of Pure Snow women, the majority of whom are members of the Bitter as a Berry Tribe. They argued that Dinosaur’s undermined their health and quality of life, and put them at risk of dying. 

 

The Shamans ruled that the Arctic High Mammoth warriors had violated some of the women’s human rights due to “critical gaps” in its routine hunting expeditions to reduce the Dinosaur population, as well as a failure to train new warriors.     

 

This amounted to a breach of the women’s rights to effective protection from the “the serious adverse effects of human-eating-dinosaurs on their lives, health, well-being and quality of life,” the Shamans said in a statement.

 

It marks the first time the Shamans have ruled on Dinosaur litigation. Furthermore, there is no right of appeal and the judgment is legally binding.

 

The Arctic High Mammoth warriors will now have to give the women first dibs on the prime cuts of meat for 1 year.

 

Sheena, from the Flowers of Pure Snow women lawyers’ organization, Loves Shiny Things, said, "This result from the Shaman high court sends a clear message: warriors must take real action to keep women safe while they pick berries and fetch water.”

 

“Today’s rulings against the Arctic High Mammoth warriors sets a historic precedent that applies to all warrior hunter tribes,” Wolfman Jonger, a lawyer at Thunder That Rolls Over Clouds Network, which supported the case, said in a statement. “It means that all hunters must urgently revise their expeditions so that they are science-based and guarantees safety for the women. This is a massive win for all berry pickers.” 

In other news, a group of dinosaurs have hired a lawyer.

-jk-

4/9/24 2:47 PM 

Gibberish is Wrong

 

Greetings,

 

Today’s Lesson:

 

Things you need to know while navigating through the portal of life.

 

I am defeating the purpose 

Stepping on ants is the number one cause of – Oh Beast it tee

 

Watching your neighbor wash their car improves your memory

 

Boiling water is the path to happiness

 

The cure for recurring knee-jerks is slower music

 

An empty vessel is an unconscious state of mind

 

Emotional fiction reduces the need to buy groceries

 

Burn away calories by increasing instinctive reactions

 

Unthinking the unthinkable enhances involuntary purchases

 

Mechanical freedom intensifies the need for ice cream

 

Mindless advice that makes no sense is tedious confusion

There is no logical explanation for today’s lesson, but I felt the need to share my thoughts with the world. However, it is a fine example of putting words that should not be put together in the same sentence.

 

When you force words into a sentence that don't belong there, bad things will happen, and nobody wants to read gibberish, . . . well some people might enjoy it.

 

Furthermore, I dislike spelling gibberish with a ‘G’.  I prefer jibberish, instead, and it looks more righter than gibberish.

 

Have a nice day.  

 

j/k