Saturday, September 22, 2018

Serving the Mud Soup

The weather made a dramatic switch last night (hot to cold) so it feels like a Mud Soup day.

Mud Soup is about sharing my recent, slanted and cockeyed thoughts.

First up: 

Rules are meant to be broken. Well, that’s only partially true. The only rules that are meant to be broken are the ones that insist on unreasonability. (unreasonability is my new word of the day) People who knowingly break a rule or don’t follow a rule should abide by the consequences unless the unreasonability factor is arbitrary.

Moving on.

New Statute of Limitations: Whatever you did between the day you were born and your 18th birthday is automatically pardoned on your 70th birthday – if you make it that far. Being 70 years old is punishment enough. Peeing 5 times a night. Worrying about the weather. Etc. etc. etc.  It’s a nightmare no 70-year-old person enjoys.

If you insist 

Next up.

Japan successfully landed robot rovers on an asteroid's surface! In 1,000 years from now the significance of this event will change . . . um, a, um, something important?

Another new iPhone! In 1,000 years from now the significance of having a new iPhone will change . . . um, a, um, something important?

Erstwhile is a lonely word and has been abandoned for far to long. It’s like a rescue pet and it needs a loving home. Please adopt Erstwhile and give this delightful word the home it deserves.

First Lastly.

I say this with all sincerity – when I become rich and famous, I shall never forget all the kind people who have commented on this blog site, read my books, reviewed my books, followed me on twitter, said ‘hi’ to me, or thought about saying ‘hi’ to me. You people are amazing!

Last Lastly.

The monster underneath my bed and the goblin in my closet finally decided to retire and they want me to pay them for all the times they scared me. I refused. Now they are suing. More on this as it develops.

This Week be a Mundane Golden Caterpillar or a Fiery Azure Dolphin.

Spreading the Love to Ireland, Austria, Japan, India, Portugal, Brazil, Poland, Puerto Rico, and Tahiti.


Wednesday, September 5, 2018

To Persiflage or not to Persiflage

Hello, word scribblers and fellow epistemophiliacs 

Are you tired of perpendicular nouns, horizontal verbs, precipitous adjectives, unsentimental adverbs, and law-abiding punctuation marks? I know I am.

Aliens are always watching us.

Fear not, just yesterday, at the University of Fictitious Interpretation and Mystification, the Society for Enhanced Oxymoron Vocabulary and Pretend Jargon announced they have successfully dreamed up a literary therapy that will revolutionize how writers write. They named it, Advanced Palimpsest Osmosis.

What is Advanced Palimpsest Osmosis literary therapy?

It is a five-step psychotherapy process that may or may not work for you.

Step one: Stop stressing over old, established methods.

Step two: Write however you want.

Step three: Punctuate as you see fit.

Step four: Make up new words.

Step five: Convince ultracrepidarians that what you write is legitimate.

Possible side effects are: writing several pages of unreadable material, repetitious adverb use, forgetfulness, invariable back aches, wandering in the park, screaming at flowers, starring at a wall for no reason, (Is there ever a reason to stare at a wall?) watching ice melt, (There are at least two or three good reasons to watch ice melt.) increased pizza eating, begging for sympathy on Facebook, and prank-calling famous authors.

Advanced Palimpsest Osmosis is not for everyone and you should consult with someone, anyone, doesn’t really matter who it is, before attempting the five-step psychotherapy process.

Strive to be different, unique, or dissimilar on a daily basis and hopefully something odd or ordinary will happen.

Try Advanced Palimpsest Osmosis today and gyrate your writing career. It’s not just writing therapy, it’s an adventure!

Disclaimer: a statement that denies something, especially responsibility or a person who doesn't claim stuff.

This Week be a Splendid Blonde Pigeon or a Passionate Lavender Rabbit.

Spreading the Love to Ireland, Sweden, Japan, Italy, Israel, Belgium, Canada, Poland, South Africa, and Spain.