|Aliens are always watching us.|
Wednesday, September 5, 2018
Hello, word scribblers and fellow epistemophiliacs
Are you tired of perpendicular nouns, horizontal verbs, precipitous adjectives, unsentimental adverbs, and law-abiding punctuation marks? I know I am.
Fear not, just yesterday, at the University of Fictitious Interpretation and Mystification, the Society for Enhanced Oxymoron Vocabulary and Pretend Jargon announced they have successfully dreamed up a literary therapy that will revolutionize how writers write. They named it, Advanced Palimpsest Osmosis.
What is Advanced Palimpsest Osmosis literary therapy?
It is a five-step psychotherapy process that may or may not work for you.
Step one: Stop stressing over old, established methods.
Step two: Write however you want.
Step three: Punctuate as you see fit.
Step four: Make up new words.
Step five: Convince ultracrepidarians that what you write is legitimate.
Possible side effects are: writing several pages of unreadable material, repetitious adverb use, forgetfulness, invariable back aches, wandering in the park, screaming at flowers, starring at a wall for no reason, (Is there ever a reason to stare at a wall?) watching ice melt, (There are at least two or three good reasons to watch ice melt.) increased pizza eating, begging for sympathy on Facebook, and prank-calling famous authors.
Advanced Palimpsest Osmosis is not for everyone and you should consult with someone, anyone, doesn’t really matter who it is, before attempting the five-step psychotherapy process.
Strive to be different, unique, or dissimilar on a daily basis and hopefully something odd or ordinary will happen.
Try Advanced Palimpsest Osmosis today and gyrate your writing career. It’s not just writing therapy, it’s an adventure!
Disclaimer: a statement that denies something, especially responsibility or a person who doesn't claim stuff.
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