Wednesday, November 30, 2016

How to survive as an indie writer



Being an indie writer is a brutal and fun experience. Toughness, Strong-willed, and being able to accept failure are the basic requirements, but above all, be humble.

How to keep going when your books aren’t selling? Write better books, change your name, and don’t quit your day job.


Make sure you hire a team of experts before publishing your book


There is no guarantee or magic wand for success as an indie author. Failure is likely, but don't think about that. Think good thoughts. You are armed with creative ideas, alcohol, coffee, pizza, and basically whatever works to get a good book done. Your mind is an ocean of amazing plots and interesting characters. Abuse your mind.
Editors want your money. Pretty covers aren’t cheap. Marketing is time and money. There ain’t nothing free at this rodeo.

People will think you’re foolish for trying to be a writer. You will hear that indie writers are rarely successful. You will bang your head against the wall 50 times a day and you will ask yourself a 100 times a day, “WHY AM I DOING THIS?!”

Your mantra: I am writing because I love to write. (Yeah, but we know the truth - stacks of cash would be nice too.)

Confidence is important. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Give yourself a daily pep-talk. Bark at the moon. Curl up in the corner and cry. Pout. Laugh. Grimace. Sulk. Scream at the monitor. And then, get back to writing.

The $64,000 question: What do readers want to read? Welp, I have the answer and you ain’t gonna like it, but for the purpose of maintaining your sanity and mine, I’ll share it with you.

The answer: Readers ‘generally’ will flock to read the name. Name? Yes, the name. If the name (the authors) at the bottom or top is familiar, readers will buy it and they’ll read it. It’s a trust issue. Word-of-mouth is gold to an indie writer. Word-of-mouth gold is valuable; far more than a 1,000 post on Facebook and Twitter.

Indie writers must gain the readers trust if they want to sell more books. One crappy book and you’ll no longer exist to the readers. Don’t write a crappy book.  

Indie writers are the underdog. We like being the underdog. We are the little engine that could or would or should. It’s us against the system. We must win or the keyboard gets a thrashing and sent to bed without any supper! 

Make yourself a promise. Um, I know promises are meant to be broken, but DO IT anyway. Promises are a way of buying time. Time is important. Buy as much as you can.

I promise I will finish the book. I promise it will be entertaining. I promise there will be no mistakes. I promise, I promise, I promise. See, I just bought a basket full of time.

I promise I will empty the trash and vacuum the second I finish another chapter.

I promise that if I do become rich and famous, and I am invited to appear on the Jimmy Kimmel show to talk about my books, I promise to promote all the other struggling indie writers.


So, to all you wonderful indie writers – don’t sell your soul, or settle for less than your best, or give in to a Hollywood producer.



And always ----- Write like you mean it!  




Sending love to everyone in Germany, France, Poland, Turkey, and Netherlands, 



-jk-



Monday, November 14, 2016

Reality – The Forgotten Illusion


Reality: the true situation that exists.

The Grand Illusion - Styx 

There are rare instances when an illusion is either so perfect or so utterly fantastic it is thought to be impossible even in a fantasy world. These occasions are extremely rare and you should appreciate the moment, because it may not happen again in your lifetime. In some cases, people will believe the illusion while others see it for what it really is. Be warned, when this happens, revealing the truth to those deluded by the illusion is not a simple matter of just telling them. The illusion has seized their minds.

Only you can change your reality 


A solid illusion depends on its believability. Believability is determined by the situation. Illusions do not defy normal physical laws. Even if a person has cleverly prepared a realistic illusion, a fake bridge still cannot be walked upon. A phantasmal object is still a phantasmal object, despite what you actual see. A wise person always considers the limitations of their illusion and finds ways to hide the weakness of the illusion. Expectations of reality reinforce the advantage of an illusion.

The most believable illusion in reality is reality. In a fantasy world, many more things can be believed than in the real world. Illusions do not spring out of nowhere in the real world, but it can happen in a fantasy world.

Time is precious. Use time wisely, you only have a certain amount.


Stop being what you are not and start being what you can be. Be the change that makes a difference in your own reality and not in the illusions of another.


These babblings are brought to you by – yadda yadda yadda, jibber jabber, and drivel. If you don’t understand, may I suggest the illusion cafĂ© – I hear good things about the sweet and sour reality they serve there. 




Fabricated illusions are hallucinations we hope will become reality - Translation: I write fantasy adventure stories that I wrongly assumed people would buy and read. 30 years in the making and 10 seconds to realize I should have done something else.


"You dream to high, Mr. Kafka."


"Is there any other way to dream, jimmy?"


"Good point."  



-jk- 
   



Friday, November 4, 2016

Today’s Special – Turtle Mud Soup


Yummy, hot soup on a cold day.  


Raise your hand if you loathe ads that babble on for twenty minutes before they get to yapping about what they are selling. I see you all agree – it’s annoying, isn’t it?

Fear not, I’ll be jumping straight to the point. This is what I’m selling:

Nothing!!! That’s Right! I’m selling nothing, and it’s free! If you act now, you can get two nothings for the price of one. Free Shipping too! But . . . you’ll have to pay the taxes on the nothings you buy.  


Winter is coming. Or maybe not. Global warming is coming. Or maybe not. 


Moving on.

For baseball fans – How about them Cubs?! Being a ‘true’ Cardinal fan, I am not happy. We prefer our arch-rival to muddle in the mud. However, as a human being – good for them. That’s all I’ll say on the matter.


Next up – the elections!

Soon the United States of America will have a new President. I suspect many of you out there will be extremely happy when the non-stop campaign ads on TV are over.  Me? I don’t watch TV very often, so it really doesn’t bother me. And, whoever wins won’t bother me either. In fact, no U. S. President has had a direct impact on my life. I remember when Ronald Reagan was running for the presidency – a former actor! Many believed if he was elected, the U. S. would crumble and fall. Um, we still here ain’t we?




HUH?


Human Turtle

Humans are smart

Best Invention Ever



I took a ride on the insanity train yesterday. It was awesome. If you are a writer, I highly recommend it. I went outside to observe real people, and it was immensely entertaining. Human beings are amazing and whimsical, and very very very odd. I witnessed two people eating, while fondling their hand-held communication machines, occasionally glancing at their laptop computers, and they were talking to one another . . . all at the same time! It made me extremely proud to be a human. No other creature on the planet is that multi-gifted. I truly believe humans have finally emerged from their turtle shell and are now ready to join the other elite, intelligent life forms of the cosmos.



The Future - Holographic Humans



Don’t forget to fall back this weekend.



-jk-