Sunday, July 31, 2016

In Between World

The right fielders are at it again, and they are driving me insane. Do this, don’t do that, follow me, don’t follow them, listen to me, don’t listen to them – it’s exhausting.

They are also the reason why I rarely ever leave the Fortress of Imagination, turn on the TV, or read the news. There be some crazy peps in the world and I am afraid.

Neptunian logic, much like Plutonian logic, is comparative to the circular twaddle of linguistics that are implemented by right fielders. Basically, they use a never ending shit-swirl of double-talk babble to fool the masses. They live in the In Between World where whatever fits for the moment, they say it and they own it.

Trying to be relevant when you’re irrelevant is an eccentric activity of irrefutable madness. But yet, the irrelevant endeavor to persevere.

In other news, the Fortress of Imagination was recently assaulted by super-charged, pint sized human organisms, ages 6, 4, & 2 – all boys. (The Grandchildren!) During their 8-day invasion, I attempted to communicate with the hyper-active demons, hoping to persuade them not to destroy my humble domicile. I failed miserably. I was unable to crack the code of their sophisticated language. Other tactics were employed, but my outdated techniques proved to be ineffective.

I did not know this rule existed

While the battle raged, I was plunged into the ‘In Between World’ – duct tape them to the wall or smother the vicious, demon attackers with hugs. The duct tape gambit was suppressed by two angry giants. Dammit!

After their miniature crusade, luckily, the Fortress still stood. The scars of warfare, however, soiled the hallowed halls: Broken glass, decapitated teddy bears, torn books, grape juice spots on the carpet, unrecognizable chalk pictures on the bricks, and the grounds, they are littered with the remnants of a thousand shattered water balloons.

In the end, I stood alone against the horde!

The dirty job of rebuilding and repairing the Fortress will take weeks; I doubt it will ever be the same. The heroic 2016 conflict, where many a good stuffed animals lay buried, may be just another footnote in the history books, but it shall never be forgotten. I intend to memorialize the fallen with a huge stone and a plaque so that all will know of the brave toys who risked their fluffiness to defend the Fortress of Imagination! 

Have a Great Week!


Saturday, July 16, 2016

Chaotic Thoughts

What to write about? What to write about? Writing a blog post is serious business, and we take that business very seriously. We even take it out to dinner and a movie; separate checks, of course. 

The Vault

In the Fortress of Imagination, hermetically stored in the super-secret Vault, there are thousands of topics to write about, although I am struggling to decide which one I should choose. 

Unrealism vs. Fiction – Good, Bad, or just being Controversial – How to Speak Body Language – A day in the Life of the Unknown Indie Writer – The Art of Staying Irrelevant – 10 Things I Hate about Game of Thrones – Baby Names; Optimistic Labeling? – Reality, a Three Part Fictional Fairy-tale – How to Write a Good Story Nobody will Read – A Glimpse into the Future; Frozen Eggs – Searching for the Third Side of a Coin – If You Tweet it, Someone will Dislike it – Is TV Binge Watching an Overindulging Activity? – Success means always having to say you’re sorry – Daily Horror-Scooping – The Truth about Right Fielders – Hyphen; the New Semi-Colon? – Prickly Serendipity Syndrome; the Cure – Body-Shaming Mirrors – Perfection is Flawed Nonsense – Overcompensating for Circular Roundness – Where to Buy the Right Pesticide for Twitter Trolls.

All very good Topics, but they seem to lack a certain punchiness.

Yes, this is what I do all day, every day. My interactive, sequestered brain, linked to a bottle of Rum, constantly calculates millions of possible variables that might or might not change the progression of Neptunian logic and how it is perceived. It's hard work, but somebody's gotta do it.

So much to write about and so little time to do so. So, I think I’ll go back to working on book #4; projected to be finalized by October.

Until next time – be a word, any word or perhaps two words.

Today I am Frugality-Accomplished. I love Hyphens! 

Imagination is the Randomness of our Awake Dreams!

Keeper of words during a windstorm of letters is an Alphabetic Nightmare.  


Friday, July 8, 2016

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Strife and Friction

Deep in our subconscious is the inherent desire to express our own individuality, but in doing so it sometimes fuels the fire of humanities generational and racial disparities. In order to properly heal the wound that divides us, the aperture of human differences must be sutured with constructive words, not bullets. You would think we would be well-beyond the laying of a hot iron on our open gully of cultural multiplicities.  

As a nation, I see us as an ignorant child that still shits our pants and wets the bed, because we have yet to learn those instinctive manners that should naturally occur with age. Respecting each other no matter who they are, where they come from, and their personal preferences is all part of growing up. However, to think and do as you please without harming others has an extremely steep learning curve. So, until we figure out how to use the bathroom, we’ll just keep on messing ourselves.

Those who came before us were wise enough to build a foundation of unity, but they built it on discontented ground.

Disagree if you wish, but we are a nation founded on unhappiness. Unhappy we had to pay taxes, unhappy at being ruled by a king, and unhappy when told to fight on soil that was not our own. Therefore, we destroyed a nation of natives and we rebelled against a king. We later fought against ourselves over slavery. We persevered through several wars on soil that was not our own. We even endured riots on our streets, but eventually we found a way to allow people of all colors to drink from the same water fountain. One small step for humanity, one giant leap for more unhappiness.   

Hugs Overcome Hate

After 200 years, however, and despite our good and bad decision making, like an adult, we finally managed to come together and embrace our unhappiness. Peace and harmony was close at hand, but unfortunately, much like the king of our forefathers, we got greedy. Being an unhappy mixed bowl of vast amounts of different cultures and colors wasn’t satisfying enough. We wanted more. We wanted to be absolutely miserable, and we wanted everyone else in the world to be equally as miserable as us.

We are now fresh meat for the beast, and the beast is happy about our unhappiness and how truly miserable and afraid we’ve become. No doubt the beastly terrorists take pleasure in us being afraid of one another, simply because they are the ones who created our fear. Every time we harm ourselves and play into that fear, they win. We have never out-grown our unhappiness. We are a nation of afraid gun totting lunatics. Shoot first, ask questions later.  

If I were to speculate, I’d say, in certain parts of the world, there are a great number of people who are pleased to see how we have yet to overcome our adolescent misbehavior. They are undoubtedly having a good laugh at our expense. Yup, we look pretty stupid for a supposed super power.

Build a wall? Weren’t we the ones asking/ begging for a wall to be torn down not too long ago? I have a fence around my yard. It’s my turf, dammit! Truth be told, I wish I didn’t. To me the fence symbolizes fake happiness. It can’t keep anyone out, it’s just a fence.    

Back when I was young lad, telling a fib got me three whacks on the ass, and I knew I deserved them. Had I known what I know now, I would have just kept on lying until it sounded like the truth; a method that apparently works for politicians.

Make love, not war!

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. 
~ Mahatma Gandhi

We hardly find any persons of good sense save those who agree with us.

~ Fran├žois de La Rochefoucauld