Friday, January 1, 2016

2015 is Gone – Hello 2016

So, what did I do in 2015?

Well, I rewrote and reedited my first two books and republished them as e-books. I wrote and published a third and the final book in the trilogy, also as an e-book. All three books are on amazon and so far to date I have sold 9 copies – 4991 to go until I break even.

I revamped the blog site and wrote 39 articles about highly informative gibberish - approximately 27,000 views and (1) person commented 14 times. To date there have been over 52,000 views since I started this blog.

2015 also marked another year without sex - 18 years and counting. (TMI?)

I quit smoking and drinking 365 times in 2015 – sleeping counts as quitting right?

I made and painted a globe of the world I write about in my books. The north pole looks awesome when the dust collects on top of it.

I endeavored to be a nice person 365 times and failed 364 times. The one time I was nice was when I rendered assistance to a woman and her 3 year old child who were in a horrible car accident. I saw the whole thing and was the first one to get to them. They survived.

I attempted to keep the economy going by spending lots of money, primarily at casinos.

In 2016 I will be 59 years old, which I predict will be the new 39.

I am currently writing a 4th book, though I do not know why. Same world, but with new characters, new plot, and it promises to be as riveting as my other books. (LOL!)

In 2015 my father-in-law passed away. I believe he is in a better place than I.

I cut my lawn 33 times in 2015. I still push-mow instead of ride, because my children haven't bought their dad a riding lawn mower yet. I predict 2016 will be the same.

I was and always will be a rock star!

My garden produced a nice crop of tomatoes, cucumbers, and peppers in 2015. I eat healthy to counter all my other bad habits.

I got my hair cut 5 times in 2015 only because the girl who styles and cuts my hair is extremely good looking, otherwise I would never get it cut. 

I told a lot of lies last year only because the truth is soooooooo depressing.

I got a clock radio and a new computer for Christmas. I bought the computer.

Another year passed without me eating tuna or liver. That makes 42 years and counting, although I did eat a truffle for the first time. Well, truth be told, I didn't swallow it. I spit it out. I won't make that mistake again.

My Nostradamus predictions for the coming year: Stuff will happen. I personally believe that predictions are a means to manipulate people into doing things they ordinarily wouldn't do because they read a prediction. Therefore, I'll refrain from predicting anything specific.

On that note, my new years resolution will be to not make any predictions this year, except for that riding lawn mower thingy. As for my other same old new year resolutions: I'll quit something, I'll start something, I'll not do something, and I'll try hard to be something other than myself. I might even add another personality to the fold.

I am looking forward to 2016 with great expectations of nothingness. I dislike change, but I like new things. Perhaps I'll paint my office this year.

Happy New Year to all and to all, I wish you well in the coming new year.

Mr. Kafka?”

Yes, jimmy?”

Please don't let anymore people inside your head, there's no room for them.”

Then knock out a few walls. Homeless personalities need a place to live.”

If'n you say so. Goodbye Cerebral Cortex!