Friday, June 13, 2014

Being Kafka


Walk with me on the path of your soul and we'll explore your humanity together. Listen to my story of your existence. We will seek out your true soul and cleanse it of worry. I will expose yourself to you and together we'll discover your emotions. Your inner powers will enlighten you to what is possible, making you fearless of its potential. You will become lonely during our journey, but do not despair. I will purge your feelings of remorse. Follow me on the trail of awareness, where pain and suffering are lurking in the shadows. I will speak to your heart to find the answers hidden inside your soul, and I will eliminate the blood of fear within you.  Become me as I become you. The darkness is there inside you, search for it, but remember, matters of the soul are mine. Let us begin our journey.

I have taken many adventures, but never one such as this. I seek the light, for without it I shall die. I never understood the light, but it has moved me in many ways, and it has always been with me, until now. I have never followed the darkness, but I have called on it during my blackest moments, though it never heard my pleas.  I search my soul where the light once rested, to provide me with comfort, but it is no longer there. The error of my ways has caused this horrible thing. I seek the light of amity, and its soothing powers. The power of the light was always warm. I am afraid that I will be forever lost within myself. Help me great teacher. Help me find what I have lost. I need the light to renew me.

We have come so far, and yet, you have learned so little of us.

I know never to ask why, but there is so much I have forgotten. I know the lessons on matters of the heart are never retained, and matters of the soul, well as you have stated, those are yours.

Call out to the light if you dare. I doubt it will hear your pitiful cries. I will find you inside myself and yourself in me. Strange how far we have come together and now you seek my help, even stranger that I have tried to tempt you in the past to reveal yourself to me, but you resisted. I long for the blood of the heart to pump the soul within us.

I hear your words of wisdom and I understand the complications of the heart and the soul, but will you explain the secrets I desire, or will we cross swords? I will remember matters of the heart, and I am not so foolish to know matters of the soul are rare as its blood. Reveal yourself now, just for a moment, so I can recall myself to us, and let our blood flow as one.

Be patient. We will resolve this, and we’ll be one again. We must. It is after all, our destiny. You must isolate your thoughts as you journey with me. We will bleed within ourselves, and we shall flow in others.

NO! How do you gather yourself? You already know the answers! I was once you, surely you remember? You dare to seek our blood that you know already flows within us? You, a teacher, have sent us on a journey that has no ending. I do not wish to learn the meaning of fear now that it is before me?  Will you always keep this in our thoughts?

Seeking the memories of the heart will be our most painful fear. Is the truth on matters of the heart wise to learn? I think not. Have you forgotten? The blood of the heart is what makes us forget. I warn you, matters of the heart will bring out the hate. Will this be the blood that will corrupt our soul? If you walk down this path, hate will overcome us. You cannot make demands on hate when confronting matters of the heart. Your light may be gone forever.

Oh how I have cherished on such memories of hate. They have always been my temptation, my error of envy. The burden of hate weighs heavy. I freely have given my heart to us only for it to be returned less than given. Is this blood so important? I would gladly give my heart to the light. I wronged you great light of ages, but the memories of hate were too much for me to resist and I was resentful that you were the only one that knew them.

Embrace me young lust, and grab hold of our heart. Remember your pain.

I hate you!

Feel the warmth to remember the pain. You know how much you desire it. I crave your pain and thirst its lust. I can no longer restrain my urges. Seduce the hate and truly become wicked.  When you have had your fill, we will remember, because you know where the light dwells. Let our hearts become as one, deeper and deeper we bathe in the blood of hate.

I feel that the light has returned. My love! Our soul pumps the blood of the heart. But it all feels so unlike before, the same, but yet different. What has happened?

Do not despair; it is the feeling of remembering. It is new to you and will take time to adjust. You now have the power of the light and perhaps it will aid us in locating your one true desire. We have become one and hate fills the blood of our soul.

I did not want this! I wanted it to be as it was before. I love the past. Is that so wrong? I would freely make the same mistakes over and over again if the light was always with me. Did you fool me into believing this is what I wanted?  I demand to go back. Why was it so important to find someone I already knew? I hate you! To find myself only required me to look into my own heart, the place where the light always rested. I do not like this feeling of remembering, and the regret it brings to us.

You have learned the power of hate, and your questions can only be answered by you, and how you reply is of your own consequence. You have recovered what was lost and have found a new trait along the way. To error is a mistake, to remember the error is divine. Using hate will be as easy as using envy. You have only yourself to blame. It was your choice that caused this to happen.

I was mistaken. What you taught me, I already knew. I was wrong, and remembering it does not make me feel divine, only shameful. I feel so lonely that I have added hate to us.

Hate will help you remember and serve as an ally. Remembering will be our worst enemy for it is the burden hate carries. Your power of imagination will always be suffocated by your memories. Trust the light that is now within our heart and the blood that flows through it. Your soul will forever be mine.

Trust? That sounds strange coming from you. I have so many unanswered questions. I once thought I knew everything, until I grew curious. But I thank you for allowing me to find us. I should have known we were always one, after all, you taught me my first lesson.

Do not try to draw conclusions about us, this is only the beginning. There are still countless undiscovered tiles of humanity to be revealed to you.

Is our journey is over?

Yes, our journey is over. The spirit that once resided in you is gone, you are now mortal. Remember, knowledge learned is only a spec of what is known.



-jk-