Saturday, February 15, 2014

Saturday Story Time


The Legendary Book War


Letters are the nuts and bolts, words are the tools, sentences are the materials, and paragraphs are the plans to create chapters. Created chapters are then used to construct my book.

Having all the necessary items, I meticulously began building my book. I boldly progressed forward, but evil lurked in the shadows. It was the infamous Punctuation Army! The army wanted to thwart and hinder me from completing my book.

The vile Punctuation Army launched a surprise attack and a fierce battle ensued. Periods… commas,,,, exclamations!!! question marks??? Colons::: and semi-colons ;;;;;; and the dreaded flying quotations”’”’’”” were everywhere and they all wore parenthesis armor ))))The Punctuation Army’s sneak attack worked perfectly. They used underline marks to out flank my book and they also fired off a series of short ranged missile dashes -----to massacre my defenseless words. The Punctuation allies, CAPITALIZATION TITANS and the mutant horde of misellpeled wodsr walloped scores of chapters.    

The attack left letters littered all across the battle field, words were maimed, and sentences were destroyed. Luckily, my book had a weapon that the punctuation army was not aware of, Spelling & Grammar Check! SGC effectively counter attacked. My book successfully pushed the PA back.

Soon after ---- the lines of waR hAd Been!!! drAwn, and…,,,)) for three years, both! Sides”””” atTTacked? and coUnter-attacccked da utter, wit know end in siTe— My book hurled Thesaurus missiles at the PA,,,, but they HHad littleeee effect!!!! $$

Ultimately, the once upon a time League of Dead Writers happily ever after were called in to arbitrate a peaceful settlement.

Months of negotiations and compromise ensued, until both sides finally agreed to end all hostilities. Unfortunately though, and little did my book know, the PA had developed a secret weapon called the run-on sentence that would go on and on and on and on forever,,,,, ---- guaranteeing the war would never ever ever rrrr ever """end!!!!""""

Thankfully, my book had also developed a secret weapon; a surreptitious weapon of enormous power to neutralize the PA and any future attacks. It was fittingly called, The Editor.

The All Powerful Editor destroyed the PA once and for all.


The end!

-jk-