Tuesday, August 15, 2017

The Eclipse

Spooky, darkening skies will soon be looming over my house, but only for a few moments and then it will be over. Wow!

As fate would have it, I live directly in the path of the approaching total eclipse - the suck zone. All my neighbors think it's awesome, including the hundreds of other people who have been herding into the region to see this ‘once in a lifetime’ event. The police, fire departments, and medical emergency folks are on high alert. I think they all be crazy.

Traffic in the area has increased substantially. Thank you, fate. Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!  

I understand why astronomers and astrophysicist get all giddy about the eclipse, but I ain’t no star gazing dude. I reckon the most I’ll say when it happens is . . . “wow, darkness . . . wow, it’s no longer dark.”

I have a hunch there will be several idiots who will stare at the eclipse with faulty eye-protection, and of course, soon thereafter, lawsuits will be filled. Lawyers will make money and the idiots will be blind. *sigh*

I could, however, turn this into a profit-making venture. $20 for premium spot on the lawn to view the eclipse - $30 for the rooftop - $10 for parking in the driveway - $5 to use the bathroom - $5 for a cup of lemonade - $15 for a hot-dog - $20 for a sandwich - $25 for an eclipse T-shirt - $300 for night-vision goggles.

Nope, strangers lurking in my yard is not a good idea.

Although, I could do a re-enactment from the movie, Apocalypto, and put it on the Internet. I wonder if my neighbor would be willing to let me paint him blue and rip out his heart? Sounds like fun, but I doubt he’d go for it.   

Needless to say, I am not that excited about the impending eclipse as everyone else seems to be.

A celestial object moving in space. Wow!

This is it. Exciting, eh? 

I’m headed to Gen-Con this weekend! Now that is something to get excited about . . . Yippee!!!!!

Darkness is coming. I hope everyone has an awesome eclipse moment.

Spreading the Love to Paraguay, Greece, Portugal, and Poland.


Sunday, August 13, 2017

A Writers Angst

We all make mistakes, and some have a greater impact on our life than others. Learning from our mistakes or errors in judgment are supposed to prevent us from repeating the same mistake. Way too often, unfortunately, we dare to tempt fate with flawed logic – “I’ll be prudent next time and have only one drink instead of thirty?” (Hahahahahaha!)

There are only two options: You either learn from your mistakes or you just keep traipsing further down the rabbit hole. I’m the curious type, I just have to see what’s at the end no matter the consequences. Do not do what I do, I am a trained professional. (Hahahahaha!)

If this is wrong, I don't want to be right.

The following is not an attempt by me to mock a great poem, but instead, manipulate it for the sake of relevancy, and of course, humor. If anyone thinks this is disrespectful – my bad.  

Original Serenity Prayer

God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.  ~  Reinhold Niebuhr

A Writers Serenity Prayer

Oh, great blank page, grant me competence to write with elegance,
And overcome countless rewrites and modifications.
Courage to change the stuff I like even though it stinks
which should be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish
quality over quantity.
Write even when I don’t feel like it,
Correctly pace each sentence and chapter.
Acknowledging the path to success is by means of due diligence,
And enduring, as all writers before me have,
This bizarre profession
that has little reward and a lot of painful compromising.
Knowing what I write will be worth reading
If I surrender to the acute insight of the editor
So that I may be reasonably happy when the manuscript is done
And supremely happy when a publisher accepts it.
Yes, indeed.

Punctuation is an addictive drug - use only as recommended by a trained editor.

Be an Annoying, Jumping Red Rabbit or a Passive and Gullible Blue Goblin this week.

Spreading the Love to Czechia, Poland, Netherlands, Germany, France, and Ireland.


Sunday, August 6, 2017

Seriously Thinking

Amazing is a word that is amazingly used to often.

I decided not to attend the monthly meeting of Perpetual Procrastinators, but I did attend a garden party/ dinner fund raiser, hosted by the Insignificant and Irrelevant Society. (I was the guest speaker.) I spoke about sarcasm and how to tell and maintain a lie – no one listened to my speech, which is equivalent to applause at Insignificant and Irrelevant Society gatherings.

But seriously; why do writers, musicians, singers, dancers, and artist desire to be taken seriously? I hear that expression a lot. “I want to be taken seriously as a _______.  

Is being taken serious really a validation of success and subsequent acceptance into the secret society of serious people? Comedians, clowns, and cable news commentators are never taken seriously, and several of them are successful and famously known.

The last thing I want is to be taken seriously. I am a happy-go-lucky person. I don’t do serious.

I believe humans in general are profoundly way to serious lately. The Violence and Hate around the world must stop if we are going to survive. Everyone needs to start learning how to compromise. If you hear a word or see an event that makes you seriously angry; compromise by laughing, smiling, or just sit down and think happy-go-lucky thoughts while people stare at you.

My creative team is never serious

Is there a switch inside the brain that makes people suddenly go crazy?

Pharmaceutical companies should make ‘Chill Pills’ instead of pills with 7,000 side-effects and no cure.

I think people confuse passion with serious. You can be passionate about something without being overly serious. It’s called, finding the middle ground to ensure your happiness. Eradicate serious by being more-happier more often, which is more-better medicine for your well-being than any pill.

Seriously, I believe I need a drink. I know I seriously need to sleep more. I seriously think I want something else, but I seriously forgot what it was that I wanted.

I seriously concoct allegorical and philosophical fantasy novels. I can explain what I write, though I do not remember what I was thinking at the time I wrote it. Remembering what I ate yesterday is difficult and I seriously don’t even care.

Be a Compromising, Wise Purple Owl or a Giant, Peaceful Green Whale this week. 

Spreading the Love to Canada, Poland, Hungary, Germany, Slovakia, France, and Venezuela.



Saturday, July 29, 2017

Bucket List

Bucket List: a list of things a person wants to achieve or experience, before reaching a certain age or dying.

Everyone’s bucket list is different, and they are significantly distinctive from generation to generation. Traveling, acquiring money, meeting someone famous, or becoming famous, however, are more than likely on every person’s list.

My list is short, and not because I have done a great many things in my life. I dream for the impossible and anything short of that is simply not important to me. Actually, my bucket list is more like a wish list, and I really don’t care when any of my wishes come true, just as long as they happen before I am too old to appreciate them.

Here is my list:

1. My wish of attendees at my backyard BBQ: Charlize Theron, Natalie Portman, Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Connelly, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Mila Kunis, Mary J. Blige, Nina Dobrev, Kristen Stewart, Alicia Keys, Eva Green, Phoebe Cates, Joan Jett, Kate Beckinsale, Brie Larson, Rhona Mitra, Kristin Kreuk, Maggie Q., Denzel Washington, Paul Bettany, James Earl Jones, Vin Diesel, Charlie Hunnam, Ron Perlman, Don Cheadle, Johnny Depp, Snoop Dogg, Dwayne Johnson, Liam Hemsworth, Chris Hemsworth, Cuba Gooding Jr., Zac Efron, Brad Williams, Keith Richards, Samuel L. Jackson, Matt Damon, and Brad Pitt.

    2. I wish I would be invited to appear on the Jimmy Kimmel show.
    3. I wish I was a better writer so that people would buy my books.
    4. I wish I could speak at the UN to express my ideas on how to make the world a better place.  

The third one is doable with practice, the other three are probably impossible. The list of people at the BBQ, I think, would make for an interesting party. Being on Jimmy Kimmel is just so that I can say that I was on TV once. As for speaking at the UN, I doubt any changes would come of it, but I sure would vigorously express my two cents worth about what’s wrong with the world.

That’s it for my list. I would have included winning the lottery, but money makes me crazy. Fame doesn’t excite me either nor does traveling around the world seeing stuff.

Have Nice Day and be a Red Cricket or a Jade Panther this Week!

Spreading the Love to Poland, Ireland, Hungary, United Kingdom, Sweden, and Norway.