Words

Words are Guilty and are Sentenced to Death

 

Gather outside the courthouse folks, we need to have us a word burning party!

 

Seriously, seriousness is everywhere and it’s a bit frightening, almost to the point of ridiculousness.

Words and how they’re used are to blame for recent outbreaks of intense behavior. It’s amazing how any one particular word or group of words can incite such rage, and certain words and phrases, that people consider to be offensive, just might get you killed for speaking them in public.

Incredibly, the word ‘evolution’ scared people silly not to long ago; the word ‘religion’ equally scared the masses and still does.

Only if they are spelled correctly and pronounced properly

Words can be powerful. But why? They’re just words. Certain words have been uttered at me over the years, but none of them ever hurt me, after all, they’re just words. Nevertheless, people truly believe words are hurtful.

I’ve spent the better part of my life pondering over words, and I have finally concluded that in order for us to survive, we must enact word-control-laws. Conceal and carry word-laws will keep everyone safe. (I’m packing a loaded 600 page dictionary, so back off.)

Sticks and stones may hurt me, but words never will.  (That’s what they told us.)

So, why do words hurt. They hurt because more often than not, the words being spoken are probably true and thus the reason why they hurt, which not many will ever admit. On the other hand, aren’t we supposed to tell the truth?

It boils down to discretion, good judgment, and sensitivity to avoid embarrassing or upsetting others.

I have four sisters, and when we all come together at Christmas, I tell them they all look good, they’re hair is nice, and, . . . well, you get the point. Saying nice things even though they are probably false makes family gatherings more pleasant. I’m told that being polite and not telling the truth is the better part of valor. In other words, we’re conditioned to hear a lie, instead of the truth.

I rather enjoy being lied to, because I already know the truth, and the truth is boring, but a good lie is always entertaining.

I could list the current group of words that will undoubtedly incite rage, but I’m yellow. (Yellow is an old term, meaning the person is a coward.) Yes, I’m a coward, and I don’t want to upset anyone, so I won’t do it.

A mouth loaded with words is deadlier than a loaded gun. Word abuse is a crime and the punishment is a lifetime of trying to shove them back into your mouth. But a proper lie is eternal happiness, so read or write fiction; it’s never about the truth.

 

“Mr. Kafka, you’re awesome.”

“Thanks, jimmy, you’re awesome too.”

“Now get back to work writing more words, your next book ain’t gonna write itself.”

“jimmy, there’s a word for people like you.”

“But you’re too big of a coward to say it, Mr. Kafka.”

“Hard to argue with the truth.”

-jk-

BETA Readers, Their Opinions are Important

Writers appreciate BETA readers taking the time to read their work-in-progress, and you shouldn't get upset if they say something negative afterwards. It’s part of the process of creating a book worthy of being published.

 

Embrace their opinions. It will hurt but it’s necessary and absolutely worth it.

I hate when it people give an honest opinion.

For today’s exercise, I decided to share some BETA opinions I received via e-mail about my soon-to-be-published book.

 

Bob: Dude, are you going to pay me for reading this crap? If not, I might have to hurt you when I get out.

Response: Thank you for your honesty, and if it’s not too much trouble, now that you finished reading it; can you pass it along to the other inmates to read? (He was my best friend in High School.)

 

Geri: Another wannabe writer with no skills, exactly what the world needs right now.

Response: Thank you; I appreciate you reading my book. (My Neighbor)

Barb: The book was awesome. I read it every night before going to bed and it resolved my insomnia problem – thanks!

Response: That’s good to hear. At least it was good for something. (She used to be my favorite cousin.)

 

Irene: Were you trying to make a political statement with this book?

Response: No, not that I’m aware of. (My radical sister-in-law.)

 

Sam: I got so lost with all the plot twists, so I quit reading it. I gave the book to my neighbor; he hasn’t spoken to me in two weeks.

Response: Sorry to hear that. (I went to school with him; he failed 3^rd grade twice.)

 

Marcy: I read it, and then gave it to a friend to read. Now, we’re no longer friends. Please do something else with your life.

Response: I’m sorry you didn’t like it. (My Niece; I told her not to give it to anyone.)

 

Tom: You might want to hire a good editor for this book.

Response: Yes, I agree. (He’s my editor.)

 

Jack: Is there a way I can get my money back?  I want a refund.  You owe me $20.

Response: I gave you the book to read for free! (He’s my nephew.)

 

Ms. Jenkins: I deserve an award for reading this.

Response: Thanks, I’ll see what I can do. (She was my 8^th grade English teacher.)

 

Janet: Who told you this book was good?

Response: My wife did. (Janet is my wife’s boss.)

 

John: I am going to be completely honest. It was a very good book.

Response: Thanks John. (My oldest son and notorious liar.)

 

Susie: What was with all the dumb character names? I couldn’t pronounce any of them.

Response: I was trying to be unique. (She is my youngest sister.)

 

Walt: Seriously dad, this is really, really, bad.

Response: *Sigh* (He’s my second son.)

 

There you have it, the readers have spoken. Such torrent positivity makes me want to get this book published as soon as possible so the whole world can enjoy it.

 

 “Mr. Kafka, I saw in the paper that Wal-Mart is hiring.”

“Thanks jimmy, but I think I’ll stick to writing books.”

 “Why? Your first three books bombed. Do you really think this one will do better?”

 “You never know with books.”

 “Mr. Kafka, stop it. The dream is over; time to move on.”

 “With your confidence and my imagination, jimmy, anything is possible.”

 “Is your hearing aid on?”

 “Huh?”

 

-jk-