Saturday, March 3, 2018

In Search of Common Ground

Fiction Writers and Theoretical Physicist employ similar techniques to persuade people into believing their fantastical tales and theories.

What exactly is a theory?

Theory: an ideal or hypothetical set of facts, principles, or circumstances - a hypothesis assumed for the sake of argument or investigation - an unproved assumption.

At Joe’s Bar and Grill, we call that drunk Bullshit.

That is true.

Fiction Writers: People who use words and their imagination to fabricate fantastic nonsense.

Theoretical Physicist: People who use math and their imagination to fabricate theoretical nonsense.

The Big Bang Theory sounds plausible, but two important elements are missing; what was going on before the Big Bang and why did the Big Bang, Bang? It had nothing better to do?

Being a writer of fiction, I, of course, have a theory about what was going on before the Big Bang and why it Banged. I also have a perfectly believable explanation for Black Holes.

Before I present my theory, I must confess something. Trying to comprehend what was going on before the Big Bang is the same as trying to imagine what being dead feels like. Therefore, I utilize geometrical imagination and specialized creativeness to rationalize my theory.  

My Theory: Using the formula – Rum + Coke = i2Rsmart, I discovered many super dimensional layers, which were inhabited by angels. The discovery allowed me to deduce that our universe was created by flatulence - an angel farted. Angel + Pizza + Beer = Flatulence Squared, A+P+B=F2.

Black holes (space tornadoes or dimensional sanitation system, DSS), were immediately deployed to clean up the contamination and to prevent the volatile gas from corrupting other super dimensional layers. Black Holes are designed to redistribute angel butt gas and discharged particles. 

Our universe may be 14+ billion years old, but there are many more universes in other dimensional layers that could be older or younger than ours. Angels fart a lot, and it is downright conceivable that they have tainted several dimensional layers.

Believable or Absolutely Preposterous?

Or, you can choose to believe the Physicists. In the beginning there was nothing, then there was an atom, it exploded (Big Bang), and presto, the known universe was created.

Or, you can believe God created everything.

A definitive answer about how the universe was created is perhaps theoretically attainable, but the miracle cherry on top of the cosmology desert is what or who made it happen and why.

This Month, be a Happy Green Rabbit or a Contented Scarlet Eagle.

Spreading the Love to Germany, Italy, Syria, Brazil, France, Ireland, India, United Kingdom, South Africa, Poland, and Japan.


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