Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Fictional Mystery Solved


Look up.  I wasn’t feeling the old stuff anymore, so I made a few alterations last night. New title and a small sample of what I do all day.

Moving on.



While enduring yet another agonizing holiday weekend with my relatives, along with a variety of other weird people, I discovered that some people ceaselessly enjoy disentangling fictional mysteries. FYI: A few of my relatives are passionate, devoted, addicted, and frenzied Game of Thrones crazy people. After several rounds of bickering, they elected me to resolve their GoT disputes, and of course, I accepted the challenge. (Yes, I watch GoT, but only for social-science purposes.)


Mystery Solved: Yes, there are transporters and ATM machines everywhere in Westeros.

Mystery Solved: Yes, everyone has a cell phone.

Mystery Solved: Yes, everyone has GPS tracking devices, including dragons.

Mystery Solved: Ravens serve no real purpose, because as I said, everyone has a cell phone.

Mystery Solved: Yes, undead beings always have strong enough chains in their undead wagons, pulled by undead horses, in the event they have to pull a dead dragon out from the bottom of a lake.

Mystery Solved: Yes, undead beings can swim and breathe underwater, and they are super strong, but they walk really, really slow, unless of course, they are fighting in an epic battle.  (DUH!)

Mystery Solved: Yes, undead dragon ice breath can destroy an ice wall. (I’ve seen it done hundreds of times.)

Mystery Solved: Yes, you can be stabbed in the stomach and be all better in three days. Ex-Machina rules apply in GoT.

Mystery Solved: Sisters do text back and forth when creepy men pester them excessively.

Mystery Solved: It is not at all difficult to swim while wearing heavy armor or heavy furs, if you first coat your armor or furs with the amazing Rain-x water repellent product.


Amazingly Good!


Remains a Mystery: Why do some people in GoT refuse to believe undead exist, but are undeniably okay with believing the dude named, The Mountain, is a perfectly normal person.

Remains a Mystery: How large is the land north of the wall? (I personally believe it is twice the size of Russia.)

Remains a Mystery: How is it possible for a character to be in the 1st season, surviving in the north, and then be called upon several seasons later only to die while saving a main character. (Really good agent?)

Remains a Mystery: If the undead win and everyone is converted to undeadism; what happens next? A show called, Undead GoT? Knight King has sex with his undead sister?


Remains a Mystery: Who will be the last person to sit on the Iron Throne, at least until GoT Part Two, Three, and Four are released? Only the writers know the answer to that, and doubtful they have yet to decide who that person will be. I suspect it will come down to a flip of the coin. I am personally rooting for it to be Tyrion Lannister.



Be a silly orange goose or a serious ruby cow this week.



Spreading the Love to Canada, Russia, Turkmenistan, France, Ireland, New Zealand, and Poland.


I pronounce meme - Me Me, just to annoy people.

-jk-


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