Friday, September 11, 2015

Broke Awards - in search of logic

Random thought - Had I known that writing would have caused me so much sorrow, I never would have written a single word. (How I felt the moment I killed off a character I enjoyed writing about.)

The Oscars (88th year) are coming soon. So, I decided to go on a quest in order to understand the purpose of award shows. According to my initial research, being nominated is just as big a deal as winning. I suppose it's kind of like when I get one of those things in the mail that states, "You might possibly have won a Cruise to a tropical island!" So, should I be happy I might possibly win?  

Awards are given out every year for just about anything - the Oscar is definitely one of the most sought after by actors. (I recommend we all invest in a trophy shop; the award business is booming and it shows no signs of slowing down.)

Let us begin:

Using my Encarta Dictionary, I started with the word award and then picked out a particular word within the definition and then looked up its definition. Sometimes this is necessary to reveal the true rationale behind how something came into being. In other words, I had nothing better to do today and also because, yesterday, at the casino, I lost a lot of money and now I'm broke and have nothing else to do but this.

Award - something such as a prize that is given in recognition of somebody's merit or an achievement.

Achievement - something that somebody has succeeded in doing, usually with effort.

Effort - mental or physical energy that is exerted in order to achieve a purpose.

Purpose - the reason for which something exists or for which it has been done or made.

Reason - an explanation or justification for something.

Justification – a circumstance that justifies an action or attitude.

Attitude - an opinion or general feeling about something.

Opinion - a view regarding the worth of somebody or something.

EUREKA! I figured it out! Awards are nothing more than an opinion!  But if that’s the case, why are people so excited to get an award or so angry when they don't? Every day there is always someone expressing how they don’t care about what other people think about them or if they win an award, but yet, they accept it, and then they babble on about how happy they are. Confusing eh?

I think the key word was recognition. People won’t readily admit it, but deep down inside, we all like it when someone, anyone, recognizes us for something we did that required a good amount of effort. A simple pat on the back can be a monumental award if it comes from a person whose opinion is dear to us.

A coach patting you on the butt for doing something exceptional was always appreciated, though now it is frowned upon. Hmm, never mind, I’ll let that dog sleep.

Therefore and whereas, now that we have discovered the true meaning of an award, I feel that jimmy and I are duty-bound to also participate in the handing out of awards. Yes, you read that right. We have begun the process of concocting three separate awards to recognize brilliant and remarkable people for outstanding achievements. (Specific achievements will be detailed at a later date.)

Winning anyone of the three Broke Fiction awards will be bigger than winning an Oscar, Pulitzer, or Nobel Prize! Those awards are for wimps. Getting an award from Broke Fiction, however, will truly be a memorable moment in the life of the recipients, and of course the fame and fortune that will surely follow.

I haven’t quite worked out all the details yet - such as: what do you get or when we’ll announce the winners, but just think how awesome it will be! You’ll be able to tell your friends that you won a Broke Fiction Award (BFA). I know what you’re thinking; please don’t pick me!

Bah, it’ll be fun. Besides, we’re professionals. We know what we’re doing. jimmy is a certified preternatural thinker; he’s even got a piece of paper to prove it. And I’m crazy, so there’s no way this is not a good idea.

“Mr. Kafka.”

“Yes, jimmy?”

“How did I get included in all this and you never even asked me.”

“Okay fine. jimmy, do you wanna help?”

“Sure, whatever, I’ll help. Although, in the future, you should ask me first instead of just assuming I’ll do it.”




  1. You must be taking Insight Pills or something, Bud. That was really well written. :)

  2. Thank you, sire. You get smarter if you walk really slow, but I'm old and therefore I have to walk slow. Thank you for stopping by.